Dear baby Eva,
I need to start by telling you how much I love you. That being said the last fourty eight hours have broken me.
I am sat on the end of my bed staring at you in tears. You are still just about asleep after the dog decided to bark and wake you up. It only took me twenty minutes to get you to sleep almost the same amount of time you have actually been in slumberland and now you are almost awake so we can start the whole process again, feed, activity and sleep.
I slept for a maximum of three hours last night, that’s being generous. We moved bath time earlier to six pm and followed it up with the usual baby massage and feed. It was the easiest and quickest put down ever and you was asleep without fuss in minutes. Here’s where cocky mummy messed up. Instead of doing my usual sleep when you sleep thing I decided it would be a good idea to actually eat dinner with daddy downstairs, optimistic that you would sleep for around five hours followed by another two or three hour stint more if I was lucky. I hooked the baby monitor up and headed for the kitchen. The monitor is better than an award winning, blockbuster movie and I was glued to it. Because we was ahead of schedule dinner wasn’t quite ready so I got a cup of tea and biscuits while I waited and watched.
Oh fluff what the fluff is that on the screen? Daddy thinks he’s funny sneaking into the room and trying to scare mummy with his goust like hands on the monitor. It would have been hilarious if he had woken you up at the same time.
So ten and twenty minutes passed and I started to relax, just the gentle whoosh of the white noise was all I could hear through the monitor and then silence, silence? Why has the white noise stopped? With my breath held I watched the monitor and there was a little wiggle, followed by a bigger wiggle and an eye open, two eyes open. Fine I’m coming up princess.
With a little soothing you eventually closed those beautiful blue eyes of yours and drifted back to sleep. Great the plan is still all systems go. Not feeling quite as confident I rushed downstairs and wolfed dinner down as quick as I could fixated on the monitor screen. One of your little eyes kept flicking open and closed, it looked heavy but you was fighting it. I’m sure you was looking for mummy who is always there when you wake up, I felt mean like I had tricked you so dinner eaten I headed up for the night. It took me a while but eventually we both drifted of to sleep.
Just after midnight you woke, fed and went back down. The new pampers baby dry are amazing as I don’t have to disturb you with nappy changes unless you poop. This is where it all went wrong. To start with just a few whimpers I looked over but sound asleep, more whimpers which started turning into grunts and growls followed by thrashing and what looked like reverse crunches or leg lifts I couldn’t tell if you was awake or asleep but I knew you was uncomfortable and that upset mummy. I suspected gas was the culprit but couldn’t help you get any up or down.
What a horrendous night. I couldn’t sleep through your thrashing and grunts one because you was too loud but two because it concerned me and I wanted to make sure you was ok. I got an extra hour when daddy took you downstairs but you just wanted to feed so we wasn’t apart for long.
So a bad night is usually followed by a bad morning And this morning is as bad as they come. The plan was to meet uncle Carl and Ollie for breakfast but I couldn’t see that happening, we would actually have to get out of bed and get ready which requires energy for that to happen. In mummy and daddy’s exhausted state there was a few fluffy words used as daddy didn’t want to cancel. It isn’t a competition for who is most tired but it is definitley me princess one hundred percent.
Following on from above fluffy words I snapped and cried, alot. Full snotty, spluttering crying. This is not at all like mummy I can go years without crying normally but like I said the last fourty eight hours have broken me.
I pulled myself together, eventually. we decided we needed to drag our selfs out the house and snap out of it. We drove to Newark just for something to do. Shopping has a very different meaning these days.we didn’t even step foot into a clothes shop.
Luckily Newark has an M&S food so to cheer us up we bought half the store and drove to a pretty village for your first car picnic, a favourite pass time activity of mummy and daddy’s.
I’m a bit too exhausted to write properly start fish but the last three nights have all been the same. A maximum of four hours sleep and you squirming around. I bought fennel tea as I read that could help and I must admit last night seemed slightly better. You still squirmed and grunted but was actually passing gas, a lot of it and very loudly which you wasn’t on previous nights. I think you take after daddy.
I have my six week check up at the Drs today so will mention it then and see if they can help. It might just be a growth spurt thing as you have been constantly attached to my boobs the last two days. My poor boobs hurt as its just an eat, sleep frenzy.
Fingers crossed for a better night tonight.