Tag Archives: sleep

time,clock, clocks, pocket watch, poem, life, life poem, family poem, mum poem

Time

Oh Evalyn, oh Elijah
If only you knew
How precious time was
How quickly you grew.
Your age once marked in a number of days
As the days increase you change in so many ways.
In a blink of an eye the days turn into weeks
You reach various milestones and will learn how to speak.
Oh Evalyn, oh Elijah
If only you knew
How time just vanishes
No matter what you do.
I spend the days in a conflicted way
Searching for spare minutes but longing for the end of the day.
I dream and wish I didn’t need sleep
So I could play with you all day and at night hoover or sweep.
I rush around trying to fit it all in
But it’s a fine balancing act when you spread yourself thin.
Oh Evalyn, oh Elijah
If only you could see
Each moment is magical and makes a memory.
A smell, a taste and even a sound
Like beautiful laughter or rain hitting the ground.
So as you grow and start to rush
Take time to appreciate the leaves on the bush,
Oh Evalyn, oh Elijah
If only I could,
Stop time for a moment, then surely I would.
Because when your all grown up some time very soon
You will no longer believe you can visit the moon
Try to remember the wonder of splashing in a puddle
And the warmth and safety felt from a cuddle.
Time is a gift that no one can give
It’s up to you to make the most of it as you live.

 

 

 

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new born baby, baby boy, baby and teddy, red head baby

Dear Baby Eli

Dear baby Elijah,

My first letter to you at eighteen days old. It makes me smile as Eva was eighteen days old when I first wrote to her. Just short of three weeks you have been in our life and I can not imagine a world without you.

8

Your baby smell is incredible and I waste so much of my day sniffing your hair, probably an equal amount of time as I spend changing your poopy nappies. It is quite different having a boy, everyone told me boys are easier to change as they have less nooks and crannies down below. I am not finding this to be true between your saggy testicles and your sprinkler winky I find there is so much that can go wrong at each nappy change. It actually quite stressed me out in the first few days as you was sprinkling every where each time, soaking your clothes and me. It has calmed down now and I have developed a bit of a technique so we have a lot fewer accidents and soakings.

Being my second born will have advantages and disadvantages for you. I feel guilty that I can not give you my undivided attention and waste hours just holding you. I sometimes have to let you cry while I finish attending to Eva’s needs. I wake you up from sleep (something I would not have dreamed of doing with Eva) to get you ready so we can all leave the house. I take you to play dates and groups you have no interest in. You play with hand me down toys and use pink blankets.  What you get instead though is hopefully much more valuable. Two parents who have experience, who know what is coming and have learnt techniques to help sooth you, calm you, comfort you and teach you. We are more relaxed and balanced with you and hopefully the icing on the cake is you get a sister who I’m sure you will fight with daily but I hope will be your best friend growing up, someone you will always have in your corner throughout life.

I have just had to go out and buy round two of new clothes for you.  you are so big and strong already. trousers and tops are not so bad but you have outgrown all your baby grows and need 3-6 months to accommodate your rather large feet. You seem to do everything on a larger scale, more feeding, more crying, more pooping but what really amazes me is the more trumping, not tiny little cute whistles but angry and loud, adult sounding explosions. I am dreading being out in public when you do this as I don’t think anyone will believe such a cute and sweet looking little thing could have produced such a noise.  The one thing you do not do more of unfortunately is sleeping. I know from being a relaxed, second time parent that sleep will come in time, I’m sure that waiting for such a time will age me at least another five to ten years and these bags under my eyes will grow into epic suitcases but you are well worth it little, big man.

So at three weeks old you have already had a photo shoot, been to soft play, the park, a windmill, an aquarium and several restaurants, cafes and pubs and we have your first holiday booked in for a few weeks time to center parks. Can not wait.  We are going with Uncle Alex, Aunty Sam and your cousins so hopefully a lot of happy memories to be made. I don’t want to wish your baby days away but I also can not wait for a few years time when all four of you (maybe even five or six of you if you act super cute around your Aunty and uncle) can run around together, probably with Eva trying to boss you all around.

I tried you with a bottle of expressed milk yesterday and to my amazement you latched and guzzled the whole thing with out any hesitation or problems. Although not something I intend to use often this opens up a whole new world for me. Eva never took a bottle so I assumed you would be the same. Breast feeding is something I enjoy so much but it can be very binding and exhausting at times. You taking a bottle means I can take time for me, exercise, relax, catch up on chores the possibilities are endless but will all equal one happier mummy so thank you for making life a little easier.

We are off to village soup now so I need to get us both ready. Eva is at her grandmas so its just mummy and Eli time. A bowl of home made soup and some gluten free pancakes are just what is needed on a wet and cold day like today. If you could kindly stay asleep while I have a catch up with some other village mums it would be greatly appreciated, up to you though as you own me.

All my love  Mummy.

 

 

Today I am broken

Dear baby Eva,

I need to start by telling you how much I love you. That being said the last fourty eight hours have broken me.

I am sat on the end of my bed staring at you in tears. You are still just about asleep after the dog decided to bark and wake you up. It only took me twenty minutes to get you to sleep almost the same amount of time you have actually been in slumberland and now you are almost awake so we can start the whole process again, feed, activity and sleep. 

  
I slept for a maximum of three hours last night, that’s being generous. We moved bath time earlier to six pm and followed it up with the usual baby massage and feed. It was the easiest and quickest put down ever and you was asleep without fuss in minutes. Here’s where cocky mummy messed up. Instead of doing my usual sleep when you sleep thing I decided it would be a good idea to actually eat dinner with daddy downstairs, optimistic that you would sleep for around five hours followed by another two or three hour stint more if I was lucky. I hooked the baby monitor up and headed for the kitchen. The monitor is better than an award winning, blockbuster movie and I was glued to it. Because we was ahead of schedule dinner wasn’t quite ready so I got a cup of tea and biscuits while I waited and watched. 

  
Oh fluff what the fluff is that on the screen? Daddy thinks he’s funny sneaking into the room and trying to scare mummy with his goust like hands on the monitor. It would have been hilarious if he had woken you up at the same time. 

So ten and twenty minutes passed and I started to relax, just the gentle whoosh of the white noise was all I could hear through the monitor and then silence, silence? Why has the white noise stopped? With my breath held I watched the monitor and there was a little wiggle, followed by a bigger wiggle and an eye open, two eyes open. Fine I’m coming up princess.

  
With a little soothing you eventually closed those beautiful blue eyes of yours and drifted back to sleep. Great the plan is still all systems go. Not feeling quite as confident I rushed downstairs and wolfed dinner down as quick as I could fixated on the monitor screen. One of your little eyes kept flicking open and closed, it looked heavy but you was fighting it. I’m sure you was looking for mummy who is always there when you wake up, I felt mean like I had tricked you so dinner eaten I headed up for the night. It took me a while but eventually we both drifted of to sleep.

Just after midnight you woke, fed and went back down. The new pampers baby dry are amazing as I don’t have to disturb you with nappy changes unless you poop. This is where it all went wrong. To start with just a few whimpers I looked over but sound asleep, more whimpers which started turning into grunts and growls followed by thrashing and what looked like reverse crunches or leg lifts I couldn’t tell if you was awake or asleep but I knew you was uncomfortable and that upset mummy. I suspected gas was the culprit but couldn’t help you get any up or down. 

What a horrendous night. I couldn’t sleep through your thrashing and grunts one because you was too loud but two because it concerned me and I wanted to make sure you was ok. I got an extra hour when daddy took you downstairs but you just wanted to feed so we wasn’t apart for long.

So a bad night is usually followed by a bad morning And this morning is as bad as they come. The plan was to meet uncle Carl and Ollie for breakfast but I couldn’t see that happening, we would actually have to get out of bed and get ready which requires energy for that to happen. In mummy and daddy’s exhausted state there was a few fluffy words used as daddy didn’t want to cancel. It isn’t a competition for who is most tired but it is definitley me princess one hundred percent. 

Following on from above fluffy words I snapped and cried, alot. Full snotty, spluttering crying. This is not at all like mummy I can go years without crying normally but like I said the last fourty eight hours have broken me. 

I pulled myself together, eventually. we decided we needed to drag our selfs out the house and snap out of it. We drove to Newark just for something to do. Shopping has a very different meaning these days.we didn’t even step foot into a clothes shop.

 Luckily Newark has an M&S food so to cheer us up we bought half the store and drove to a pretty village for your first car picnic, a favourite pass time activity of mummy and daddy’s.

  
I’m a bit too exhausted to write properly start fish but the last three nights have all been the same. A maximum of four hours sleep and you squirming around. I bought fennel tea as I read that could help and I must admit last night seemed slightly better. You still squirmed and grunted but was actually passing gas, a lot of it and very loudly which you wasn’t on previous nights.  I think you take after daddy. 

I have my six week check up at the Drs today so will mention it then and see if they can help. It might just be a growth spurt thing as you have been constantly attached to my boobs the last two days. My poor boobs hurt as its just an eat, sleep frenzy. 

Fingers crossed for a better night tonight.

Love mummy